What the past few days were

These past few days I pondered as to why I felt this pain in my chest constantly, and why it's so much harder to smile truthfully now. Well, of course, I'm holding on to something I know I shouldn't be because thats the way her world is. Whatever she's thinking, I'm trying to find a better way to live without living in that decietful play of words and false hopes. But if anything should happen, it's that I will strive to rise above the average joe and show the world that true love doesn't abandon and fall at the beginning of tough times.

What I do know is that these past few weeks were one of the greatest ones I've had all Summer. These people I surround myself with have proven how trustworthy and true they really are. And never was there a need to say "I just want to know who my true friends are." It should be apparent in the way they act towards you and the fact that they would be there for me even during inconvenient times. Being broken in so many ways, it's amazing how so many people were willing to be there, to stay on the phone, and to deal with my pain. Even adults were willing to help( thanks Auntie Cubillo and Kuya Jason!) See, what I found this summer is that never was there a need for that sole love or like, its that I had stronger love coming from all my friends. As corny as that was, and as conceited as this may sound, I have love in many places. And that is one thing I'll thank you for helping me realize. Other than that though, I promise that things will never be the same, and that the closeness we promised afterwards probably won't happen because of the truthful betrayal and constant pain I feel. Anger is like a slow poison, so never will I resort to hate. But know this, the love I have seen in the past few days has been the most truthful I've seen in the past year, and whatever you do is your business. Somehow I have grown in a way I had not expected, and I see life as a bigger opportunity. And no matter how much attraction and want I have left, I will not give into that blinded temptation that left me begging to be the one man to make you happy.

One day it'll dawn on me when that girl finally falls into my arms and tells me I loved you before I even met you, and never will she leave. But it's honestly too friggin soon to be thinking that. I am lucky to have so many people that care, and I will always be one to come too if they need that comfort as well. That's the way it was and will always be. I am willing to meet new people, and always so willing to explore new things. Always love for Rejubillo, Krack-Ed, 08 kids, and all the new cool kats I will meet. And Albert, Mark, Katon, you guys are inpiring me to be more, so thanks to you. It'll be sad when I move to Irvine next semester(maybe). But it's only an hour and 45 min away:) So visit and hang in the new apartment with me and we'll kick it with my soon to be ps3 and hopefully new recording gear. 220 and highdef as well. Well I got to get ready to pick up Jon's 360 controller, Soak City, and Otay Luwow auditions. Thanks for reading loves, and don't be afraid of the unknown, because its what makes life so exciting and surprising. Much love and peace, lates.